You see your coworker in the breakroom for the first time since they returned to work after the death of their father. You start to feel anxiety. Do you say anything? Do you mention the death? If so, what do you say? Most likely we have all had a situation similar to this. Seeing someone after they have experienced death can leave us feeling awkward and not sure what to say. Luckily, directors of funeral homes in Springfield, OR. Share this advice.
First, know that what you are feeling is normal. We all struggle with what to say after a death has occurred. We feel like we want to say something deep and profound. Something that truly conveys the sympathy we feel. Something that helps to take the pain away. It’s important to know that any condolences will be appreciated so cut yourself some slack.
What To Do
So, what do you do when you are talking to someone after a death? Although it may be difficult or feel uncomfortable, it is actually more polite to bring the death up than to ignore it. When you do so you are letting the other person know you are acknowledging what they are going through.
It also helps the grieving person to feel more at ease and comfortable knowing they have your support and sympathy. They may open up and talk about the death more, or simply thank you for your condolences and move on in the conversation. Whichever they do, follow their lead.
If they are ready to open up about the situation, then let them talk as much as they need to. This can be exactly what they need to help them in this difficult time. If they simply thank you for the condolences and move on in the conversation, make sure to respect that and not bring it up again until they are ready.
What Not To Say
It is important to know there are some things you should avoid saying. While you might have the best of intentions, saying things like “I know what you are going through”, doesn’t really help. Even if you have lost a loved one in a similar way, everyone’s situation is unique and everyone processes grief and loss differently. Because of this, even with similar situations, your experience can be very different than theirs. Cultures around the world have been holding some type of funeral service for over thousands of years.
Also, many people may fall back on saying things like, “He’s in a better place”. Even though you have the best intentions with these words, phrases like this do little to provide the person any comfort. When the wishes of the deceased are carried out according to a predetermined plan, the family also has the peace of mind that “they’re doing everything the way they were instructed.
While it can be uncomfortable seeing a person for the first time after a death has occurred, know that addressing the event and offering your condolences is the right thing to do. It not only helps the person to know they have your support and sympathy, but it also gives them a chance to open up and talk about it, if that’s what they choose to do. As directors of funeral homes in Springfield, OR., we understand how this can be a difficult situation and hope this advice helps.